...31 amazing years...

I just returned from "candle-lighting" at Delta High School. Our Daniel is a class officer and was sworn in today.

It gives me cause to reflect...........I've had thirty-one "first days of school"!!! No. We have not celebrated every single one. There were times when we were lucky to remember that it was the first day of school!! This year is my last...........and I find myself both happy and sad. Twelve years ago, when Daniel started kindergarten I mourned. Even going for registration, I had to hurry out before the tears started sliding down my face. I knew I had to do something for that "first day", so I bought licorice jelly beans and black m&ms to take to his teacher and the principal. It worked! No tears at school! But then I found I couldn't go back home! Whatever would I do with myself for 2 1/2 hours?!?? I went to the warehouse for at least part of that time.........and that was the routine for the first few days.  I got over that and was just beginning to enjoy my solitude when a neighbor asked if I could watch her nine month old daughter while she went to work. I did, and I've had very little "solitude" since! I am tired. I don't have the energy I once had. There are other things going on in my life that require me to focus much of what energy I do have in other directions. I am a grandma! And I have to remind myself to not feel guilty when I can't get to every activity he participates in. But at the same time, I want to be as much "mom" to him as I was to our other children. In general, I have thoroughly enjoyed being "Mom". Granted, there were times, long and short, when I didn't want the job! But on the whole, I'd do it all over again. I love being "in the trenches", "on the front line"........and "grandma" doesn't get that job.............and, as Grandma, I'm pretty sure I don't want it! Perish the thought of never holding my own newborn ever again........worlds without end.............that fills me with deep dread.............but...........for now, in this mortal experience, I find myself ready to enjoy a new season. And I truly mean to enjoy it! I realize there is at least one thing that will happen to bring deep sorrow as the season changes, but I can not stop that. I can only try not to shrink from its coming. Even with all I know and am absolutely sure of.........I find I want the summer to never end. If it could go on just as it is...............but that is so unfair to Suzanne. And I don't really want her to have to lie in bed indefinitely............I don't want to go through the pain of separation, either!!! Thankfully, it is not up to me. I'm so grateful to know I have a loving Father in Heaven who knows me, Suzanne, and all of us........who wants us to return home and will do and has done all that He can to make that happen. I am learning more about the atonement and our Savior's love for us..........I have no words to express my feelings.............and my thoughts could go on forever...........and maybe not make much sense to anyone else.............I'm trying to live the now with a joyful heart.

...another hat

I'm stepping w.a.y. out of my comfort zone and donning a new hat.............let me back up some and explain...........I love to make quilts. I am a member of our local quilt guild. For the past nine years we have sponsored a quilt show in connection with the "Delta Snow Goose Festival". I have helped set up and even "taught" a couple of very small demonstrations. Since our show last February the president of our guild has reminded us regularly that no one had signed up to "be in charge" of the quilt show. The past three months at meetings have been a little uncomfortable because no one was willing to step forward and do it. I have felt the need to contribute to our guild--I have a little in the past, but with the things going on in my life for the past five years I felt I had my plate full. Well............I was just so afraid our show would die, I began thinking of how I would accomplish this task IF I were to volunteer. I thought about it for a couple of months even! While waiting for the play to start in Cedar City last month...........WHAT!?!?!??? Did I forget to tell you that we went to the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City??? Sorry............we saw "The Music Man" and "Midsummer Night's Dream". So much fun!!! Now back to the quilt guild saga..........While waiting for the play to start I was telling Roger how I hated to see the show die for lack of someone saying "I'll be in charge." He shocked me by replying, "Why don't you do it?" I told him that was all I needed.........I needed to have his support.........Sooooooo, I'm "in charge" though I am the very newest kid on the block!! I've never been involved in the planning of this thing!! I show up the day before to set up chairs and tables and climb ladders to hang the quilts! Now.........with all that..........I have created a blog for our quilt show..........remember, it is in the beginning stages and I'm learning as I go......I hope everyone will be patient with me--so far they have been very kind and encouraging--we will have a great show! I have some wonderful people to help me............and I'm EXCITED!!!! Here's the link to the new blog, if you are interested............goose festival quilt show. Let me know what you think, please..........and pray for me..........I've never done anything like this before in my whole life!!! AGH!!!

...some of my favorite things...

Yes, it's been a while..........there are times when I feel I don't have anything to share and other times when I feel I don't have time to sit down and write something. That doesn't mean that I don't spend time doing other things on the computer--like read someone else's blog. I have a favorite heirloom designer. She has a blog and she's faithful. I wish I lived in her town..........or better yet, that she lived in mine! We had a talk with our 17 year old the other night about making things happen instead of making excuses. (I know, you've never had such a talk with your child.) But afterward, as I was looking at the exquisitely lovely little clothes Jeannie makes and reading of her classes, I decided I'm going to make something happen! I'm going to save some money--don't really know where it's coming from--and go to one of her classes! I can read directions and decipher illustrations as well as the next gal, but there is nothing like being right there and watching as she embroiders........so I'm going to make it happen! Tell me, if you dare, that this is not one of the sweetest, most beautiful dresses you have ever seen.......

...or this one...

See why I want to go to at least one of her classes????? So beautiful they make my heart ache.....and I need to be getting started on a little white something of my own. We have a new grandson!!! He's still a wee little thing, but so perfect in every way. Mother and baby are doing well..........

And we had a wedding in the family two weeks ago! As per the standing arrangement with my sister, I made a quilt. I love to make quilts! And I hope that someday I can be as happy with my machine quilting as I am with my hand quilting..........it's going to take some work!!

 And I want to share some pictures of one of my favorite buildings in all the world.....(there are about 150 of these "favorite" buildings) it was absolutely and totally beautiful that day...........one that could not be improved upon.....one to "fill my reservoir"....

And now! I think I will go and make something happen! Goodness knows, I have enough to do!